I can see you

How long can I sit here?
'till the moon rises
'till there's no more time
No more days to wait
No more chances to say
the one thing I've been waiting so long to hear.
Will I even look during those last few hours?
What if I don't see you?
The day may go by with no chance
One more day of not seeing your face
added to eternity
Will you think of me?
As your sitting where I've been
where I've learned
where I've laughed
Will you think of me?
I can't say I'll think of you
no promises
my life will go on
or start.

What have you done?

He made me smile and laugh, what have you done recently? You've made me toss and turn, frett and sweat. All you do is build up hopes and then slowly pick the bricks away. He listens and cares. When I'm sad he asks me how I'm doing, when I'm happy he's happy with me. You can't have me happy. He always smiles at me and makes me feel special. I'm never ugly when he's around. He's cute and awkward with a pun for every situation. He knows everything I do and everything I love... well almost everything. He can't know about you. He's a decent person, one the best I know and an excellent friend. He asked me to the prom, what have you done recently?

Dear Connor,

I'm sorry but I can't do this. You sit so close but I'm looking past you. Masculine, quiet and thoughtful you sit beside me and make me laugh. Imagination is my curse, he makes it go wild, I shouldn't have to turn it on. It's my curse and you make me turn it on?! Even so it's not the same. I stop, I shudder, I sigh. Blue eyes, strong hands, honourable but I'm stuck at your chest. I long to be held against it, in your arms as I weep like a scene in a harlequin romance. I weep for him though. Not even your lips satisfy my wild imagination and his make my blood boil. His cocky swagger is aggravating but mesmerizing and your nonchalant stroll may be growing on me but it hardly haunts my dreams at night. You see, he's my habbit, my cigarette, my obsession and he has been for so long, too long, there's no going back. He tore a hole in my heart and now everything drips out the bottom, including your unfeigned smiles and attentiveness. I can't do this to you. You should stay away. Can't you see I'm just using you? You're just a pawn in an addict's game. Every smile, every laugh, every touch is just in hopes that he might catch a glimpse and suffer even a second of what I suffer ever everyday. It's a falling sensation as your heart pounds and sends concrete through your veins. Your brain is wrung like a sponge as your eyes fog. I can't do this.
With Love,
Sarah